Week 6 Transitions in Marriage

Marriage is so important, and many couples fail to recognize all that comes with marriage and the transitions that take place. One little fun fact I learned in class is that in the U.S. a couple spends an average of $27,000 on their wedding. To me this shows that they spend more tie and effort in planning the actual wedding than their marriage. Another problem associated to an extravagant wedding is that you go into the marriage in debt, and that causes unnecessary stress.

When you get married you have to learn how to mesh your lives together and work together with everything. You have to budget together, balance the workload, learn intimacy, and gain relationships with each other's family members. When you go into marriage, you have unspoken expectations for your spouse, called private contracts. These are sometimes expectations of a spouse to do a lot of the housework, or to have expectations on the amount of intimacy or affection you show to each other. It is best to discuss these private contracts before getting married, so you guys are on the same page and no one is disappointed in the actual result.

One other important point is to involve fathers in the process of pregnancy. It is important that they feel important and gain that bond with the child during pregnancy. ALSO, express love and appreciation for each other everyday!!! Refrain fro criticizing!

Week 5 Preparing for Marriage

The best way to find a mate to marry is to date! Date a variety of people doing a variety of activities to see how your date acts in different situations. If you would like to see how they act around kids, plan a date that involves kids! If you would like to see how they act in a group setting, plan a group date! A date is defined by being  paired off, paid for, and planned. You tend to date people you have access to; people who live in your area or that you see on a regular basis. This includes people in your neighborhood, school, and work.

The proper and most effective way to prepare for marriage is to 1st. Date, 2nd. Courtship, 3rd. Engagement, and 4th. Marriage. Courtship is exclusive dating and a trial for marriage. Engagement is a sealed deal: you are committed to each other and sliding into marriage. I learned that when dating someone, you should know them more than you trust them, trust them more than you rely on them, not be more committed than you can rely in them, and not touch more than you are committed to them. This will help you make more logical decisions on whether you want to continue the relationship or not, without emotional attachments getting in the way. Involving physically with them will hinder your ability to think straight.

Cohabiting is NOT an effective way to test out marriage. It actually sets your relationship up for failure. Don't do it!

Week 4 Gender Roles and Same-Sex Attraction

A person's gender is very important. In The Family: A Proclamation to the World it states,"Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose." Your gender affects your family experience. If you were of a different gender, you would have a different family experience, with the relationships with different members of the family.

 It is known that men and women are different. Females tend to be more cooperative, detailed, relationship oriented, verbal, and aware. Men tend to be competitive, protective, aggressive, spacial oriented, focused on one thing, and task oriented. I have learned through this taking course that parents treat their children differently depending on gender. Parents treat their male children more rough and to 'toughen up.' They teach them hard work and to have a career, and leadership. Parents teach their female children gently and with comfort. They teach them to be domestic and submissive. There is an argument that parents should treat their children the same, but I believe it is a divine instinct to do this to help our children be successful in the world.

A theory of understanding same-sex attraction is called "Exotic Becomes Erotic." This has helped me understand what some of the people I know , who are attracted to the same gender, went through.  The short version is: Boys at a young age are sensitive or are not interested in gender atypical activities and are rejected from 'the guys' because of it. So they get along with girls better, and as they get older they start to get attention from the guys. This acceptance is a new feeling and the need for intimacy becomes sexualized and they believe they must be gay.

Week 3 Social Class and Cultural Diversity

Every person comes from a different family background and culture. Understanding other cultures is so important, it is the only way to love people and understand their beliefs.
I believe that all cultures are equally valid and there is no one culture that is the 'right' culture. The purpose of family is to bring to pass Heavenly Father's plan, bring up children, provide structure, socialization/ set expectations, offer love and support, influence values, and provide financial resources. Fulfilling the purposes of family can happen in any culture.

Social class has made itself apparent that it is important in the United States. People strive to be upper class with money, prestige, education, and a wealthy appearance. It is important to remember to focus on family needs rather than meeting expectations for being high-class!